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Just As Long As It's Chicks Who Are Willing to Sleep with Me
20-something hipster boy #1: So, you ever think that the US will stop being the most powerful nation in the world?
20-something hipster boy #2: Well, if not us, then who?
20-something hipster boy #3: They say China will take over eventually.
20-something hipster boy #2: China? What the hell are they gonna do, drop people on us?
--E Train
Overheard by: chinese girl who sat next to them
She's Hoping He'll Become Her Ventriloquist Dummy
Boy on cell on platform: So yeah, I'll be there soon...I'm at the... um... The um... The... what do you call it? I'm waiting for the umm, and I'm at the... (sighs) What do you call it?
Girl next to him, whispering loudly: Traaaaiiinnn statiiionnnnn!
Girl next to her, yelling: Platform, train station, waiting for a train!
(Boy walks away still on phone)
--Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Gabriela
Like You Did About That Whole HIV Thing
Teen boy: No, I can't hide a bottle there. She makes me do it with the door open. She'll see.
Teen friend: She's going to watch you pee?
Teen boy: No, I have my back to her, but she'll notice a bottle. Maybe I can use a Visine bottle.
Teen friend: Just tell her that a positive result is good and negative is bad.
--B1 Bus
Let Us Pray
Orthodox Jewish man #1: We're sending her to Westchester for her eating disorder.
Orthodox Jewish man #2: Is that like a fat farm? Maybe she'll lose weight.
--Manhattan Beach Park
Overheard by: Vespertinas
...We're a Bank, Sir.
Furious hobo: I just got run over in your parking lot and I can't even get a beer!?
Woman: Sir, we don't even serve beer.
--Northern Blvd, Queens
Better Prepare for Your Troll Years, Sally
Boyfriend: 30 years from now I'm gonna slap the shit out of you.
Girlfriend: Why? 'cause I'll be 51?
Boyfriend: Yes. You'll be ugly!
--Grand Central Terminal
Like That Awesome Hobo Who Urinated on Us Earlier!
Tourist: I read about this place in that New York book I got from the library.
Guy in line: Did it also tell you that when it's a full moon everything is half off?
Tourist to friend: Dude! We should just both get the large, then.
Friend: I love this town and its little quirks like this.
--Gray's Papaya
Sacha Baron Cohen, Is That You?
Drunk British guy to woman with small dog: My god, your dog is beautiful!
Woman: Thanks.
(British guy leans down and makes sexual motions near dog)
Woman: Stop, oh my god!
British guy, getting up: Lady, can you not see that I'm just trying to appreciate a beautiful dog! (runs away)
--Ave A & 9th St
Bait Like This Calls for a Bigger Fish
Comedy club guy: Are you ready to be dazzled by comedy?
Cute girl: Do I look like a fucking tourist to you?
Comedy club guy: Well, are you ready for a boyfriend then?
Cute girl: Maybe if you looked better.
--42nd St & Broadway
The iTouch App We've All Been Waiting for
Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)
--Apple Store, 14th St
Overheard by: Susie
Why Do Billionaires Do Anything?
Vally girl #1: I looove ellen Egenerous, she is soooooo funny.
Vally girl #2: Yeah!
Vally girl #1: I hate Dr Phil, he is soooo mean, but I looooove Opera, I mean love her. Why did she copyright her name? I mean, why?
--A Train
Overheard by: Chris DeLuca
Raise Your Hand If You Love Drunk Talk
Guy #1: So I spent most of the night at her place, but we only made out.
Guy #2: Dude, she wanted to fuck you!
Guy #1: I know, I don't know what I was doing.
Guy #2: Well, dude, you did fuck her!
Guy #1: What'ya mean?
Guy #2: She wanted to fuck you, but you didn't fuck her, right?
Guy #1: Right.
Guy #2: She got fucked!
--Lolita Bar
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