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Fair Enough.
Driver being diverted past blockaded street: What's going on here?
Cop diverting traffic: What's going on? It's New York freaking City! That's what's going on! Move along!
--9th Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: Mighty Spatula
...By Glazing Over the Truth.
Old lady covered in baby powder: Give me six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, which ones?
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: These are all donuts... Which ones?
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts.
Donuts clerk: Okay, I'll just give you a selection of six. (starts putting random donuts in bag)
Old lady covered in baby powder: Six donuts, don't trick me.
--Flatbush, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Save the Whales, Save the Whole Thing
NewsFlash: Romance Outbreak in Chelsea!
Girl #1: Hey, if you were dating someone new and then they told you on, like, the third date or whatever that they had genital herpes, would you continue dating them? I mean, like, would you sleep with someone like that?
Girl #2: I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I feel like a lot of people who have herpes don't even know it, so the fact that they told you probably means they're responsible enough to get checked, and they, like, know how to take care of it and everything. In a weird way you may be less likely to get it from them than from someone who never mentions herpes at all.
Girl #1: That's interesting. I think I could do it if, like, I saw myself marrying them. Cause then I wouldn't have to worry about getting it and giving it to someone else. We could just get married, be in love, and be happy together, and grow old with each other, and with herpes.
Girl #2, seriously: That's so romantic.
--American Apparel, Chelsea
Overheard by: Has a different definition of
...Can We at Least Still Get Ice Cream?
Four-year-old boy: Daddy, why is there no express service today?
Father: Because the government invests all their money in war and killing people and doesn't wanna invest in public transportation!
Four-year-old boy: Oh. That's so unfair!
--6 Train
You Mean Gay Mafia Tight?
Dude to waiter: Yeah, I'll have the scrambled eggs. Scramble 'em soft so they're a little runny, with extra crispy bacon--almost burnt--wheat bread just a little toasted. Yeah, very light. And a cut of Gruyere cheese and grapes on the side. Yo, you still got those crumpets? Those flaky crumpets? Cool, I'll have 'em with peppermint tea with a wedge of lemon and cane sugar. Alright? Thanks.
Girlfriend, eying him warily: Babe, your brunch game is tight. Like, suspiciously tight...
--The Farm on Adderley, Brooklyn
Just Working on My Don't-Fuck-With-Me Face
Wife: You're so grim!
Husband: You made me grim.
Wife: Did I make you grim?
Husband: I'm not grim.
--Holiday Inn
Overheard by: The daughter.
...So I Still Get to Watch Half Of Oprah.
Girl: I'm so glad I don't work nine to five.
Friend: So, when do you work?
Girl: Eight to four thirty.
--L Train
Wasn't This a Goldie Hawn/ Kurt Russell Movie?
Sweaty construction worker: Okay. We're finished here today. Is there anything else?
Older wealthy woman: You could change your shirt before you come in here.
Sweaty construction worker: That's great advice. See you tomorrow.
--57th & 7th
Overheard by: jim hill
Remember the Good Old Days When You Could Smuggle Antiquities with Impunity?
Asian man: What seems to be the problem?
Security official: Other than the fact that your passport and your ticket have two completely different names on them, nothing.
--JFK Security
Your Editors Totally Predicted This
Hip-hop dude #1: Dude! Her pussy is like the TARDIS on Doctor Who! So small and dainty on the outside, but roomy on the inside.
Hip-hop dude #2: Can it time-travel?
--Brooklyn
Probably a Story There
California girl #1: I have, like, *no* gaydar.
California girl #2: You should!
California girl #1: I know!
--Gabby O'Hara's, Midtown
Overheard by: AEC
To Be Fair, Have You Forgiven Rodney Dangerfield for Making Ladybugs?
Guy #1: I really, really hate that guy.
Guy #2: But he's been dead for years.
Guy #1: Yeah, I know. I wish he were alive so I could wish he were dead.
--2nd Ave
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